hospital.

the plan was to do this blog post last night. but i took a muscle relaxing pill and the world started to slowly slip away after a few minutes. they should really underline DROWSY on the bottle.

so i was dancing. pushed into a pole. banged my head on the pole. flew backwards. banged my head on the floor. finished the show which involved much spinning. then almost died.

but thats not the story im here to tell. once i informed everyone of my head truama after the show they swiftly relocated me to the carnahans car. i turned into michael jackson's son blanket the whole ride to the hospital because the sun was being a bastard.

i gots all signed in and jank. this sucked even more majorly than it would have on any other day because i had JUST been to the doctor that morning for my yearly checkup. so you would think that when the nurses asked me for all my info, height, weight, etc, that i would know it. but i still didnt. screw basic information, thats what i say.

i moved to the waiting room so i could be with meg. the waiting room is not nearly as exciting as it should have been. come on now. were in the ER for goodness sakes. there were no rushing patients through on rolling beds, no blood squirting, no pregnant ladies about to pop. just two rednecks who were infuriated with their 4 hour wait and one old lady in a neck brace.

the time was passed by taking pictures. we tried to include my id bracelet, my blood pressure thingy and megs fawn necklace in each and every picture. we got a few winners. i think the other patients were annoyed at how chipper we were. all they had to do is ask and we would have included them in the picture too.

an adorably awkward nurse named george came to get me with a wheelchair. this was good news, because that is an ideal photo opp. we politely asked george if we could get a picture before i was wheeled away for my procedures, and of course he obliged. thats when i knew we would be good friends.

he steered me away, and i got a little nauseous with his fast speed. but i wasnt going to complain because it was fun anyway. he started to explain to me how the ct scan was gonna work. i stopped him immediately and informed him that i knew exactly how it worked because i watch scrubs. george and i continued to talk about scrubs and the nameless janitor until the scanning started.

there was a sign on the scanner that said do not look into the red light. because of that sign, i knew i had to look into the red light. further mental damage is yet to be discovered.

then i got xrays on my chest and neck. i had to take off my necklace. when i was putting it back on the nurse (NOT GEORGE) asked me if i was a mime. i just stared at her blankly.

nurse number two wheeled me back to meg. i never saw george again. i am still saddened by this.

a third nurse (STILL NOT GEORGE) told me that i have a minor concussion and neck spasms. and that i am crazy for finishing the show. i stared at her blankly too.

meg is cool because she stayed with me the whole time. we ate jimmie johns together. she is a special girl.

but i still didnt get to meet gay love.