manhole.

the gilman troupe took a vaca north. these are my highlights from said excursion. and just so you know, i plan to continue using 'vaca' as an abbrev for 'vacation' because it is one of the few abbrevs (including abbrev itself) that i am actually in favor of.

-washington dc. the fam *another approved abbrev* sits in front of the washington monument, marveling in its majestic beauty. we notice a plane. sister points to said plane and says "it looks like that plane is going to run into the monument." sister is correct, and we all watch in a mix of awe and terror as this aeroplane flies slowly but surely lower and seemingly closer to the monument. then we all breathe a sigh of relief as the plane passes it on the other side. all except keeumm, who smiles, cocks her head to the side and says "that's neat..."
not an appropriate response.

-street vendors. brother purchases a lemon italian ice on the street. we sit on bench to rest our tired feet, or as dick calls them, "worn out puppies". brother drops half eaten italian ice on sidewalk, and ice pops out of container. mass devastation ensues. brother tries, in vain, for a solid three minutes to scoop up (MEG) the ice into the container without using his hands. he eventually gets it up to a wall and manages to slide it back in. he then goes back to the street vendor and tells his harrowing tale, expecting a new italian ice. instead, he retrieves a cup of water. for "washing it off", as the street vendor told him.
he disposed of both.

-muslim karaoke singers. hershey park has these wonderful opportunities for rising stars to perform their debut for all of the park to enjoy. it is a room with a karaoke machine where you can sing and afterwards pick up the video, which may not seem to be worth $25 BUT the exposure is invaluable. i was lucky enough to be walking by when the familiar musical introduction of 'my heart will go on' caught my attention. i, of course, stopped to listen. the two muslim women began to sing. or rather, speak on pitch. or rather, talk with rhythm. or rather, mumble aimlessly. for they had no rhythm, certainly did not know the pitches, and most of the time it seemed like the one on the left was singing a completely different song. i asked if i could purchase THEIR tape, but the employees said that could cause a lawsuit down the road.
i was bummed.

-toilet paper. in the hotel room in hershey that we stayed in, the bathroom perplexed me. here's why. if you were to sit on the toilet, the toilet paper roll was all the way across the bathroom. it is literally impossible to reach while remaining seated. no need to bring up the fact that i have abnormally short arms, because i tested it and you would need to have nearly twice my armspan to reach it.
that just aint right.

-wooden rollercoasters. because keeumm and dick are silly and had three kids and didnt stop at an even two, family theme park visits are extremely difficult. somebody always has to ride alone, and on the wooden rollercoaster known as "the wildcat", i was elected to be the lone rider. it was my wise decision to ride with a little black boy instead of all by me lonesome. i tried to strike up a conversation on the way up the hill, but he was a bit too anxious to chat. then once we went over the hill and got going, he covered his eyes and said "ohhhh noooo" many, many, many, many times. then when the ride ended a mere 45 seconds later, he uncovered his eyes, looked at me sheepishly and said "my b."
poor fella.

-palm beach tan. driving home we passed a joint that goes by the name of 'palm beach tan'. except the sign was malfunctioning a bit so it looked like 'palin beach tan'. come on. dont tell me if you saw a sign that you thought said 'palin beach tan' it wouldnt land in the highlight category of your vaca.
really now.

-orioles game. the gate workers at camden yards were handing out orioles tshirts before the game, but considering how i am a new york yankees fan and NOT an orioles fan, i declined to accept their free tshirt and decided to sport my new yankees tee to the game. yes. i was booed. verbally abused. and i think some drunk guy actually spit at me. but because of MY support, ARod hit his 600th homerun today.
SO YOURE WELCOME NEW YORK CITY.

-wheres waldo. if you have ever entered urban outfitters before, you should well know that their array of books is eccentric to say the least. apparently they carry a 'wheres waldo' book, because as i exited the dressing room, one of those very 'wheres waldo' books goes flying by me. the culprit was a little boy whose mother, im sure, sat him down with this book whilst she shopped. he then shouted 'i jist caint FIND waldo no more!'
many a time has that same thought crossed through my head, lemme tell ya.

-lost & found. sister does not own a cell phone of her own, so she has adopted, or rather, stolen dick's phone so she can chat with her little frands. she had dick's phone in her pocket when we rode on hershey park's infamous rollercoaster, 'fahrenheit'. unwise. a stellar ride was there after RUINED by sister's comment 'um dad, i dont have your phone anymore.' my immediate suggestion was that it had tried to commit suicide after being overwhelmed by the mass amount of middle school chatter, but that idea was quickly discarded for whatever reason. long story short: went to lost & found, were filling out paperwork when dude walked in with dick’s phone and we said ‘oh that’s it yay happy happy joy joy’.
i think she deserved to lose it.

-manhole. i walked on top of a manhole that actually had steam being emitted from it. what an absolutely exhilarating feeling.
check that off my bucket list.

i have one downfall from my vacation. and that is the death of fernando the glow-in-the-dark unicorn silly band. sister is to blame. i'd rather not go into detail. my husband said it best when she said, 'it is a sad sad day in the land of fernando'. may he rest in peace.

besides this tragedy, i'd say vaca went quite swimmingly.