this blogpost is being written by a human being who has the legal ability, perhaps not permission but thats a tale for a different day, to drive themself anywhere they please. score.
behind the wheel yesterday was the most fun of all because at this point i had already passed the exam and pretty much had to do something insanely terrible like hit a pedestrian to get that revoked. so i considered it free reign.
amanda drove first and she passed with flying colors of course so then it was my turn to take a spin. i was driving along when i came to the conclusion that we were remarkably near my house. what a crazy coincidence that was, too crazy a happening to pass up thats for sure.
im pretty sure mr. hudak wanted me to get on an interstate for some fast mileage, but that was not in MY plan, and seeing how ALLISON was the one with the steering wheel and not mr. hudak, i was in charge. and i took advantage of this.
we took a "detour". mr. hudak didn't have a clue where we were which put me in total control. he was a tad freaked. i believe he muttered something about being kidnapped by teenagers or something like that but i just disregarded everything he said from there on out.
amanda and i established that we lived really close to each other, which was a perfect oppurtunity to drive by each others houses, check em out. lucky mr. hudak also came along for the ride. certainly not by choice.
we changed our route multiple times in order to make it the most scenic/difficult for mr. hudak to figure out where he was. we succeeded. at one point he asked me 'could you tell me where we're headed?' and i said 'actually i dont really know road names i just pretty much know where im supposed to turn'. this reassured him.
occasionally he would mistakenly believe that i was going to run off the road, and he would exclaim things like 'CIABATTA!'. i dont know why the name of an artisan bread was the first thing that came to his mind when he thought he was going to die, but to each his own.
when i eventually in the most roundabout way possible returned him to the main road, he breathed for the first time in a solid 30 minutes. amanda and i laughed gaily, but now that we were back in his neck of the woods, we were reprimanded.
it was fun while it lasted.
Wednesday, April 28
Monday, April 26
scratch off gently with a coin.
i am under the impression that a good collared shirt is timeless. i was also under the impression that pigtails were timeless, but the director of grapes was adamant that i was incorrect. that was a devastating blow.
lately i have seen a lot of shows. some have been really good, and some have been really bad. you truly can get the best of both worlds here in richmond.
saw 'children of eden' yesterday. there was one actor who i think may be completely tone deaf, and yet he had a lead in a musical. this bodes ill for the rest of the musical in my opinion, especially when this dude returns in the second act to play another singing role. why. just... why.
one of my favorite past times is to look for awkward couples. i really dont have any guidelines as to what is and is not an awkward couple, but i can feel it in my bones. couples whose height difference is staggering and therefore have to use stairs so they can kiss. couples who are really self conscious and are always looking over their shoulder when talking to their significant other to ensure that no one will know that they are actually a unit. couples who walk down the hall very close to each other but are certain to never make any legitimate physical contact. when i see air quote relationships air quote like this, i am glad i have no time for boys.
the staff of bath and body works is infamous for being the most pushy salespeople in the history of EVER. i think being overly satisfied with any and all bath and body works products is the leading factor that comes into play when hiring. word to the wise: dont attempt to look at their wackadoodle "scenteggs". it will only end in a perpetually confusing conversation that can never come to any gain of knowledge.
i have come to the conclusion that the little bar on lottery scratchers and the back of gift cards that says 'scratch off gently with a coin' is really more trouble than its worth. it should be made so it can say 'scratch off gently with long fingernails' or something like that. i always find that i can never locate a coin when i need one for those suckers. and nickels are apparently not included in the 'coin' department because they require much more scratching fervor to remove all the junk than say, a penny.
lately i have seen a lot of shows. some have been really good, and some have been really bad. you truly can get the best of both worlds here in richmond.
saw 'children of eden' yesterday. there was one actor who i think may be completely tone deaf, and yet he had a lead in a musical. this bodes ill for the rest of the musical in my opinion, especially when this dude returns in the second act to play another singing role. why. just... why.
one of my favorite past times is to look for awkward couples. i really dont have any guidelines as to what is and is not an awkward couple, but i can feel it in my bones. couples whose height difference is staggering and therefore have to use stairs so they can kiss. couples who are really self conscious and are always looking over their shoulder when talking to their significant other to ensure that no one will know that they are actually a unit. couples who walk down the hall very close to each other but are certain to never make any legitimate physical contact. when i see air quote relationships air quote like this, i am glad i have no time for boys.
the staff of bath and body works is infamous for being the most pushy salespeople in the history of EVER. i think being overly satisfied with any and all bath and body works products is the leading factor that comes into play when hiring. word to the wise: dont attempt to look at their wackadoodle "scenteggs". it will only end in a perpetually confusing conversation that can never come to any gain of knowledge.
i have come to the conclusion that the little bar on lottery scratchers and the back of gift cards that says 'scratch off gently with a coin' is really more trouble than its worth. it should be made so it can say 'scratch off gently with long fingernails' or something like that. i always find that i can never locate a coin when i need one for those suckers. and nickels are apparently not included in the 'coin' department because they require much more scratching fervor to remove all the junk than say, a penny.
Wednesday, April 21
windshield wipers.
my parents became infuriated today because i "only grunt at them". this is entirely not true. i also shrug.
behind the wheel is going swimmingly for all who are curious. successful parallel park today. which was tricky, because i had no cars, cones, or markings to determine where the two invisible vehicles were located.
the concept i am worst at in behind the wheel is figuring out those bloody windshield wipers. since when does pushing up the trigger cause the soapy stuff to come out? those front windows were squeaky clean when i was done with them, let me tell you.
i almost hit a crow today on the road. you'd think it would be near impossible to hit an animal with wings on the road, but tis not so.
apparently i have a small problem with road rage. i say small because i tend to be falsely kind to my fellow drivers. LOOK if you pass me, and then i catch up to you, and later pass you, i am going to wave to you and mouth the word 'SUCKER'. i just am.
continuously checking your mirrors is one of the checks needed to pass behind the wheel. to test this, the teacher will ask you to tell whats behind you without looking. mr. hudak asked me to tell him what color the car behind me was without looking. i told him with a fairly certain tone, 'blue'.
there wasnt a car behind me.
blast.
behind the wheel is going swimmingly for all who are curious. successful parallel park today. which was tricky, because i had no cars, cones, or markings to determine where the two invisible vehicles were located.
the concept i am worst at in behind the wheel is figuring out those bloody windshield wipers. since when does pushing up the trigger cause the soapy stuff to come out? those front windows were squeaky clean when i was done with them, let me tell you.
i almost hit a crow today on the road. you'd think it would be near impossible to hit an animal with wings on the road, but tis not so.
apparently i have a small problem with road rage. i say small because i tend to be falsely kind to my fellow drivers. LOOK if you pass me, and then i catch up to you, and later pass you, i am going to wave to you and mouth the word 'SUCKER'. i just am.
continuously checking your mirrors is one of the checks needed to pass behind the wheel. to test this, the teacher will ask you to tell whats behind you without looking. mr. hudak asked me to tell him what color the car behind me was without looking. i told him with a fairly certain tone, 'blue'.
there wasnt a car behind me.
blast.
Sunday, April 18
cinch.
meg & i went on a date this afternoon. i enjoy going on dates with meg. because we can both be pigs and neither will care. hence- cheeburger cheeburger.
disappointment did ensue because we both ordered kids meals and they were delivered in little black baskets instead of the cardboard tbird souvenir basket. just because we are over the age of seven doesnt mean we are too old for a toy car. sheesh.
i found a pair of mens sunglasses in the carnahan car. i put them on. this was a mistake, for mens sunglasses do NOT look good on girls.
nay, mens sunglasses dont look good on ANYONE. the ones that like slant upwards like the avatar creatures eyes do. with the random colors in the lens. you know the ones.
showcase was today. it reminded me why i want to adopt children when they are in their teens or raise them until they are four and give them away. aka avoid the wretched age that is- preteen. yikes.
matt polson had to go downstairs for teacher introductions. i happened to be standing nearby. he asked if i could keep an eye on his kiddies. i said yes. something i would soon regret. i thought to myself 'this should be a cinch!'
i really did say 'cinch'.
it was not a cinch. what is a cinch? i should probably stop using that term until i discover the definition.
ah. here we are.
cinch
Pronunciation: \ˈsinch\
Function: noun
Etymology: Spanish cincha, from Latin cingula
Date: 1859
1 : a girth for a pack or saddle
2 : a tight grip
3 a : a thing done with ease
i choose to refer to definition number three. awesome.
those kids were rowdy beyond belief. new appreciation for sparc teachers across the board. i pulled every theatre game EVER from my mental collection. still not enough. thank the lord for red light green light. and jessie jennison. i think it was definitely a job that needed a bare minimum of two people.
major headache and loss of hair were the result.
now off to massage my scalp.
disappointment did ensue because we both ordered kids meals and they were delivered in little black baskets instead of the cardboard tbird souvenir basket. just because we are over the age of seven doesnt mean we are too old for a toy car. sheesh.
i found a pair of mens sunglasses in the carnahan car. i put them on. this was a mistake, for mens sunglasses do NOT look good on girls.
nay, mens sunglasses dont look good on ANYONE. the ones that like slant upwards like the avatar creatures eyes do. with the random colors in the lens. you know the ones.
showcase was today. it reminded me why i want to adopt children when they are in their teens or raise them until they are four and give them away. aka avoid the wretched age that is- preteen. yikes.
matt polson had to go downstairs for teacher introductions. i happened to be standing nearby. he asked if i could keep an eye on his kiddies. i said yes. something i would soon regret. i thought to myself 'this should be a cinch!'
i really did say 'cinch'.
it was not a cinch. what is a cinch? i should probably stop using that term until i discover the definition.
ah. here we are.
cinch
Pronunciation: \ˈsinch\
Function: noun
Etymology: Spanish cincha, from Latin cingula
Date: 1859
1 : a girth for a pack or saddle
2 : a tight grip
3 a : a thing done with ease
i choose to refer to definition number three. awesome.
those kids were rowdy beyond belief. new appreciation for sparc teachers across the board. i pulled every theatre game EVER from my mental collection. still not enough. thank the lord for red light green light. and jessie jennison. i think it was definitely a job that needed a bare minimum of two people.
major headache and loss of hair were the result.
now off to massage my scalp.
Friday, April 16
well past 7:15.
i only have fifteen minutes til class change so im going to do the best i can with the time alotted. in case you havent noticed, my naive assertion that posting one blog post per day is not only improbable but most days also impossible. i'll do my best to keep up, but consider this fair warning that there wont be a new one of these suckers every day.
meg & i went to see beau jest at the JCC wednesday to support two of our favorites from the highly diverse cast of fiddler, jackie and david. they were lovers. which was weird for me having known them. but they still did a superb job, despite the oddity of the match up.
we had planned to attend this show on opening night since the day we heard of it. immediately went into our phone calendars. so you know we meant business. later on a sparc performance was scheduled that same day, but being young and unaware of the unreliabilty of theatre performance times, we merely assumed we would be finished in time to make it for curtain.
the show started a little late, no big deal. except it WAS a big deal. my husband offhandedly informed me right when the show ended that it was 7:15 during my dainty june song. which let meg and i to draw to the (correct) conclusion that it was now WELL PAST 7:15, which was our desired time of leaving.
jelj checks her handy dandy wristwatch. it is now 7:30 on the dot. crap.
we burst out of the sparc building like a shot, exiting through a door i think is supposed to be reserved only for emergencies, flying by our friends whom we left in the dust (still wanna apologize for that, guys) and waving our arms in a mad frenzy.
meg checks her phone. deb is holding curtain for us. PRESSURE.
of course it takes us a whole 13 seconds to find megs car which was WAY more than alotted, and then the seat belts are stuck, the radio is blaring country music... everything was going wrong.
finally we get out, speeding, but enough so that we look like a blur and police cars dont usually stop blurs.
im screaming directions. meg is, of course, questioning my directions. but for once in my life i know whats up.
meg lets me out in the drive through at the front of the JCC. i jet out in front of the car, because that is where i must go in order to get to the building, not because i am stupid. and meg accidentally presses on the gas instead of the brake. close call with death involving cars and being late places #2. but this time, no hitchhiking.
meg & i went to see beau jest at the JCC wednesday to support two of our favorites from the highly diverse cast of fiddler, jackie and david. they were lovers. which was weird for me having known them. but they still did a superb job, despite the oddity of the match up.
we had planned to attend this show on opening night since the day we heard of it. immediately went into our phone calendars. so you know we meant business. later on a sparc performance was scheduled that same day, but being young and unaware of the unreliabilty of theatre performance times, we merely assumed we would be finished in time to make it for curtain.
the show started a little late, no big deal. except it WAS a big deal. my husband offhandedly informed me right when the show ended that it was 7:15 during my dainty june song. which let meg and i to draw to the (correct) conclusion that it was now WELL PAST 7:15, which was our desired time of leaving.
jelj checks her handy dandy wristwatch. it is now 7:30 on the dot. crap.
we burst out of the sparc building like a shot, exiting through a door i think is supposed to be reserved only for emergencies, flying by our friends whom we left in the dust (still wanna apologize for that, guys) and waving our arms in a mad frenzy.
meg checks her phone. deb is holding curtain for us. PRESSURE.
of course it takes us a whole 13 seconds to find megs car which was WAY more than alotted, and then the seat belts are stuck, the radio is blaring country music... everything was going wrong.
finally we get out, speeding, but enough so that we look like a blur and police cars dont usually stop blurs.
im screaming directions. meg is, of course, questioning my directions. but for once in my life i know whats up.
meg lets me out in the drive through at the front of the JCC. i jet out in front of the car, because that is where i must go in order to get to the building, not because i am stupid. and meg accidentally presses on the gas instead of the brake. close call with death involving cars and being late places #2. but this time, no hitchhiking.
Tuesday, April 13
adam.
"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" -spring awakening. my quote of the day.
the return of glee has filled me with glee. idina & johnny groff. plus im just really stoked for some more pop culture songs to be injected with the glee sting of death, because i gotta say, after working glee auditions saturday, i cannot stand the sound of people singing about the sun being a ball of butter or weaklings leaning on their friends or lovers insisting that they are not going anywhere. just writing that made me cringe. new topic.
my favorite american idol contestant to date, adam lambert, is on tonight to mentor the youngins. anyone else find it ironic that they got kris allen, last seasons WINNER, to perform multiple weeks ago, and now, top eight, they are bringing in adam as a mentor. favoritism. just sayin.
adam and i have had kind of a shaky past. meg showed me the video of him performing at some sort of awards show last year, the now infamous gay makeout performance, and i questioned our future. mad props for his guts though. joel mchale certainly had a field day with that.
i am dismayed to admit that i did in fact forget a rollercoaster when i was listing off the few coasters we rode at kd. the "wooden death trap" as meg politely calls it, aka the grizzly. not a fun ride. not fun at all.
i am also dismayed to correct myself yet again, for it was a tapestry, not a shrine, that mr. jif was honored on at the university of kentucky. excessive apologizes, mr. jif.
there is a stray headshot lying on the floor. i am oddly tempted to vandalize my own face.
.......excuse me while i do just that.
the return of glee has filled me with glee. idina & johnny groff. plus im just really stoked for some more pop culture songs to be injected with the glee sting of death, because i gotta say, after working glee auditions saturday, i cannot stand the sound of people singing about the sun being a ball of butter or weaklings leaning on their friends or lovers insisting that they are not going anywhere. just writing that made me cringe. new topic.
my favorite american idol contestant to date, adam lambert, is on tonight to mentor the youngins. anyone else find it ironic that they got kris allen, last seasons WINNER, to perform multiple weeks ago, and now, top eight, they are bringing in adam as a mentor. favoritism. just sayin.
adam and i have had kind of a shaky past. meg showed me the video of him performing at some sort of awards show last year, the now infamous gay makeout performance, and i questioned our future. mad props for his guts though. joel mchale certainly had a field day with that.
i am dismayed to admit that i did in fact forget a rollercoaster when i was listing off the few coasters we rode at kd. the "wooden death trap" as meg politely calls it, aka the grizzly. not a fun ride. not fun at all.
i am also dismayed to correct myself yet again, for it was a tapestry, not a shrine, that mr. jif was honored on at the university of kentucky. excessive apologizes, mr. jif.
there is a stray headshot lying on the floor. i am oddly tempted to vandalize my own face.
.......excuse me while i do just that.
Sunday, April 11
yeah cookies.
this morning, scottie learned that our father was lactose intolerant. he was devastated. i think he was confusing it with a much more life threatening disorder.
thursday meg and i went to jmu. a game of role playing was ensued, meg as herself, i as her eighth grade little sister who was slightly less than pleased to be touring a college campus at the young age of 13. i threw a few mini tantrums to add to the effect. it worked.
we also decided to begin speaking in aussie accents everytime we saw anything with james madison on it. our one and only line was "its james 'imself! JAMES!" much to the dismay of pam. easily annoyed by her daughters.
our tour guides name was levi may. DANG i still need to facebook friend request him. hold on.
done.
he was quite the fellow. he told us that there is this buffet thing where you buy a container and can take as much food as you can squeeze into the container. not only did this idea alone intrigue me, but then he told us that he generally just fills the sucker up with three dozen cookies and brings it back to the dorm and then everybody's like "YEAH COOKIES!" according to levi's stories. so pretty much, its like a buffet that acts as a popularity booster. me like.
meg and i ate at mongolian grill. i dropped two pennies and a nickel in line. you could say thats how i left my mark on jmu.
levi needs a volunteer. i am the one. some bricks on the ground make a circle. stand in the middle of the circle. clap your hands. makes a weird sound. best part of the jmu tour.
levi and my one and only conversation that i will treasure for the rest of my life and perhaps re-live daily.
"moody hall... who can guess what department this is for?"
"...psych?"
"YEAH PSYCHOLOGY!"
meg thought it was women's studies.
did you know the guy who created jif peanut butter donated like a squillion dollars to university of kentucky library and if you go there, there is a shrine dedicated to him with sn image of mr. jif and a horse? meg knows.
coraline is NOT available with verizon on demand. do not be fooled.
saw julia's production of 'as you like it' at colliegate. it was mongolian themed. julia played a french lad and an elk. she can DANCE.
i just ate chinese food and now would like to nap. i bid you all adieu.
thursday meg and i went to jmu. a game of role playing was ensued, meg as herself, i as her eighth grade little sister who was slightly less than pleased to be touring a college campus at the young age of 13. i threw a few mini tantrums to add to the effect. it worked.
we also decided to begin speaking in aussie accents everytime we saw anything with james madison on it. our one and only line was "its james 'imself! JAMES!" much to the dismay of pam. easily annoyed by her daughters.
our tour guides name was levi may. DANG i still need to facebook friend request him. hold on.
done.
he was quite the fellow. he told us that there is this buffet thing where you buy a container and can take as much food as you can squeeze into the container. not only did this idea alone intrigue me, but then he told us that he generally just fills the sucker up with three dozen cookies and brings it back to the dorm and then everybody's like "YEAH COOKIES!" according to levi's stories. so pretty much, its like a buffet that acts as a popularity booster. me like.
meg and i ate at mongolian grill. i dropped two pennies and a nickel in line. you could say thats how i left my mark on jmu.
levi needs a volunteer. i am the one. some bricks on the ground make a circle. stand in the middle of the circle. clap your hands. makes a weird sound. best part of the jmu tour.
levi and my one and only conversation that i will treasure for the rest of my life and perhaps re-live daily.
"moody hall... who can guess what department this is for?"
"...psych?"
"YEAH PSYCHOLOGY!"
meg thought it was women's studies.
did you know the guy who created jif peanut butter donated like a squillion dollars to university of kentucky library and if you go there, there is a shrine dedicated to him with sn image of mr. jif and a horse? meg knows.
coraline is NOT available with verizon on demand. do not be fooled.
saw julia's production of 'as you like it' at colliegate. it was mongolian themed. julia played a french lad and an elk. she can DANCE.
i just ate chinese food and now would like to nap. i bid you all adieu.
Saturday, April 10
planet snoopy.
sorry. call me a fail at life. or a fail at blogging. another long absence i know. but i havent been alone in eighty one hours. seriously. meg showed up at my house at 10am on wednesday and i just left her house at 7pm today. satruhday. joined at the hip much?
KD was fun. it was just the four of us, meg and myself and tibbz and pastore. which worked out nicely for the two person seaters on the coasters. not that we rode any coasters. cause we didnt, really. we mainly walked from one end of the park to the other. like five times. call it bad planning i guess.
we also were bad about wasting time. we chose to wait an hour for white water canyon. a little splash of water was all that was obtained from that epic time waster. but we did gain the friendship of two young lads, matthew and louis. worth it.
saw rachel's snoopy themed show. it broke my heart a little bit to hear them take the YAGMCB songs and slaughter them as they did. they did the best they could with the material i do believe. because the material was just flat out bad. so props.
speaking of snoopy themed, that was what the entire park was. the kiddie area is now called planet snoopy. i could only imagine how i would have reacted to this mass exploitation of snoopy this time last year. i imagine cardiac arrest at first sight of giant inflatable snoopy.
michael was not nearly as enamored as i.
rollercoaster tally at the end of the day. intimidator300 - 2x. dominator - 1x. white water canyon - 1x. spongebob 3d adventure - 1x. and thats all thats coming to mind. so clearly if we did any thing else it didnt make much of an impact on me at all.
took a trip up the eiffel tower. we expected the view to showcase the natural beauty of the countryside. it actually showed us how rotten the rooftops of kings dominion are. flat nasty. this sightseeing adventure was shortlived.
began to watch the show PULSE. stopped. soon.
found an asian boy carrying a giant pikachu and asked him to pose for a picture. he obliged. good lad.
meg & i rode back to shuffles with michael. he was in ali's car so we had every cd EVER to choose from for our ambiance on the ride home. meg and i chose N'SYNC. i dont believe michael was a fan of this choice.
lots of other stuff happened this weekend, but i am tired and therefore i am weak. i shall decide tomorrow if i wish to continue detailing my spring break. if not, i shall leave it to you, my readers, to imagine.
KD was fun. it was just the four of us, meg and myself and tibbz and pastore. which worked out nicely for the two person seaters on the coasters. not that we rode any coasters. cause we didnt, really. we mainly walked from one end of the park to the other. like five times. call it bad planning i guess.
we also were bad about wasting time. we chose to wait an hour for white water canyon. a little splash of water was all that was obtained from that epic time waster. but we did gain the friendship of two young lads, matthew and louis. worth it.
saw rachel's snoopy themed show. it broke my heart a little bit to hear them take the YAGMCB songs and slaughter them as they did. they did the best they could with the material i do believe. because the material was just flat out bad. so props.
speaking of snoopy themed, that was what the entire park was. the kiddie area is now called planet snoopy. i could only imagine how i would have reacted to this mass exploitation of snoopy this time last year. i imagine cardiac arrest at first sight of giant inflatable snoopy.
michael was not nearly as enamored as i.
rollercoaster tally at the end of the day. intimidator300 - 2x. dominator - 1x. white water canyon - 1x. spongebob 3d adventure - 1x. and thats all thats coming to mind. so clearly if we did any thing else it didnt make much of an impact on me at all.
took a trip up the eiffel tower. we expected the view to showcase the natural beauty of the countryside. it actually showed us how rotten the rooftops of kings dominion are. flat nasty. this sightseeing adventure was shortlived.
began to watch the show PULSE. stopped. soon.
found an asian boy carrying a giant pikachu and asked him to pose for a picture. he obliged. good lad.
meg & i rode back to shuffles with michael. he was in ali's car so we had every cd EVER to choose from for our ambiance on the ride home. meg and i chose N'SYNC. i dont believe michael was a fan of this choice.
lots of other stuff happened this weekend, but i am tired and therefore i am weak. i shall decide tomorrow if i wish to continue detailing my spring break. if not, i shall leave it to you, my readers, to imagine.
Monday, April 5
soap.
i have a box of tagalongs sitting next to me. there is a picture of three girls who look straight out of the eighties on it, and one of them has a crazed look in her eyes. i think she is disappointed because she is on the box of tagalongs instead of eating the box of tagalongs. tough luck, crazed cliche teenager.
went to massanutten today with my cousins. my cousin dabney likes to be joined at the hip with me. in the car ride there, it was just me and her and my parents. this was a bummer because my plan was to catch some extra z's.
i somehow convinced her that it would be a good way for us to bond if i went to the backseat and slept while she sat quietly in the front seat.
children. so naive and impressionable.
i saw a clone of 11 year old meg at the waterpark if meg was fat and had bad teeth. so i guess it wasnt really that much of a clone.
amanda and i enjoyed watching people do the "flowrider". the "flowrider" is a little machine that squirts water upwards really hard and then people get a boogie board and jump on the water and try to "surf". in case you didnt catch on from all of my airquotes, this machine is really a load of bologna.
that is so weird that bologna is spelled like that. should be balonie.
but its so entertaining to watch. some people walk up with a swagger because they KNOW they are gonna OWN at this because it looks SO SIMPLE. it is those people that end up flipping off immediately and gain nothing but a mouth full of water and their swim trunks at the bottom of the pool. awkward.
i tell of this from a special place in my heart because i saw this happen to someone i know and love. yes, a close member of my immediate fambly lost their swim trunks in the flowrider. that person.... is my father.
...moving on.
saw the gimmick show at bdale tonight with my husband and annie. i also saw my granpa tom mcgranahan whom i miss because now who is there to call me a hooligan? sad.
annie and i went to the restroom. simple enough. saw dee lynch. some polite chit chat was occuring, and i was trying to seem coordinated, cue laughter from jessie at the thought of me being coordinated, and so i decided to attempt to multi task.
its tricky to multi task right when you enter a restroom because generally what you are in there to do you cant do and carry on a conversation. well, you can, but i'd prefer not to put the other person in a position of such awkwardness.
so as i was conversing with dee, i meandered over to the soap dispenser, squirted soap in my hand, and finished up the convo. it was a few moments after she left the restroom that i realized that i had been holding out my hands with a hefty dollop of soap on them for a good minute or so without noticing. i am SO coordinated.
my husband's name is jessica elizabeth love jennison and after tomorrow we shall not be friends anymore because she is getting her braces removed and she will be too beautiful to be even distant acquaintences with meg and myself anymore. its a shame, because i really was beginning to be able to tolerate her.
this blog post is dedicated to my sister in law, kaki jennison.
went to massanutten today with my cousins. my cousin dabney likes to be joined at the hip with me. in the car ride there, it was just me and her and my parents. this was a bummer because my plan was to catch some extra z's.
i somehow convinced her that it would be a good way for us to bond if i went to the backseat and slept while she sat quietly in the front seat.
children. so naive and impressionable.
i saw a clone of 11 year old meg at the waterpark if meg was fat and had bad teeth. so i guess it wasnt really that much of a clone.
amanda and i enjoyed watching people do the "flowrider". the "flowrider" is a little machine that squirts water upwards really hard and then people get a boogie board and jump on the water and try to "surf". in case you didnt catch on from all of my airquotes, this machine is really a load of bologna.
that is so weird that bologna is spelled like that. should be balonie.
but its so entertaining to watch. some people walk up with a swagger because they KNOW they are gonna OWN at this because it looks SO SIMPLE. it is those people that end up flipping off immediately and gain nothing but a mouth full of water and their swim trunks at the bottom of the pool. awkward.
i tell of this from a special place in my heart because i saw this happen to someone i know and love. yes, a close member of my immediate fambly lost their swim trunks in the flowrider. that person.... is my father.
...moving on.
saw the gimmick show at bdale tonight with my husband and annie. i also saw my granpa tom mcgranahan whom i miss because now who is there to call me a hooligan? sad.
annie and i went to the restroom. simple enough. saw dee lynch. some polite chit chat was occuring, and i was trying to seem coordinated, cue laughter from jessie at the thought of me being coordinated, and so i decided to attempt to multi task.
its tricky to multi task right when you enter a restroom because generally what you are in there to do you cant do and carry on a conversation. well, you can, but i'd prefer not to put the other person in a position of such awkwardness.
so as i was conversing with dee, i meandered over to the soap dispenser, squirted soap in my hand, and finished up the convo. it was a few moments after she left the restroom that i realized that i had been holding out my hands with a hefty dollop of soap on them for a good minute or so without noticing. i am SO coordinated.
my husband's name is jessica elizabeth love jennison and after tomorrow we shall not be friends anymore because she is getting her braces removed and she will be too beautiful to be even distant acquaintences with meg and myself anymore. its a shame, because i really was beginning to be able to tolerate her.
this blog post is dedicated to my sister in law, kaki jennison.
Sunday, April 4
tmobile coworkers.
sorry for my hiatus. im back.
if you will, go back in time to friday night with me. that is what i desire to blog about on this fine easter sunday.
roast time. i was beyond stoked to be back with the cast and make fun of the show that i devoted 9 weeks of my life to. some vengance was still inside of me. i had to release the little bit of angry joad still in my soul.
oh my GOSH its hot in here. ah. fan.
anyways. i was all dressed up in my oversized tyedye tshirt and leggings. like, i was set. ready to roast.
keeumm decided i was to drive. no big deal. i enjoy driving and generally am more chill about it when it comes to manuevering city streets.
it was established that i had forgotten to acquire an address for shafer street theatre were the festivities were to take place. oops. cut a girl some slack, i at least was lookin fly.
texted eric. he didnt have a clue either. figures.
called nicole. she gave me an address, but she was on speakerphone since veronica is a failure and the reception was bad. so the address nicole said and the address keeumm and my ears received were not the same.
we ended up WAY downtown. WAY. like by the trainstation. i was trying to follow gretchen's directions but that was tricky considering how she was confused as to where we were, so she would say something like 'turn right' and i'd look to the right and there was no possible way to do such an action. so i'd swerve. almost had an accident four times. not. too. shabby.
the decision was made that we would just park and go from there. not as easy as it sounds, folks, not as easy as it sounds. first attempt to parallel park should not be in downtown richmond at 10pm. i failed miserably, and the people trying to get by me were not friendly, to put it mildly. i believe i was flipped the bird. well SCREW YOU.
attempt number two. large open space. perfect. except once i'd squeezed in, we saw the fire hydrant. so THATS why nobody parked there. i knew it was too easy.
attempt number three. an abandoned private parking lot right off of a dark alley. PERFECT! i exclaim and pull in happily. keeumm was not so pleased, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
i turned off sheila franklin, and right as i did, she made an odd bell noise that i had never heard before. i didnt know what she could possibly be trying to tell me. the doors were shut, the radio was off, nothing seemed to be ajar.
checked the fuel tank. E for EMPTY. found it!
in case youre confused, let me reiterate my point. my mother and i are sitting in my car with no gas on a dark alley in downtown richmond at 10pm.
should prove to be a fun evening.
called nicole back, who told us we had gone WAY too far down franklin and needed to go back towards vcu. while we knew that was the case, that was going to be an issue since we were without a vehicle.
so of course we started to walk aimlessly down franklin, because that seemed like the right thing to do at the time. this causes me to come close to tears, for i was called for roast rehearsal nearly 23mins ago and we had not a clue where we were. and it was dark, all the clubbers were about. needless to say we didnt fit in very well, and i could tell that keeumm feared for our lives which didnt help very much at all.
spoiler alert. we didnt die.
here we are, walking without a clue as to where we were and i was near my breaking point. at this point i knew i wasnt ever going to make it to roast and probably wasnt going to make it out alive (refer back to spoiler alert if you are getting concerned) and so i am taking out all of my desperation on keeumm by screaming at her.
i made quite the fool out of myself. so much so that the two people walking in front of us turned around. thats when keeumm the hawk swooped in.
she ran up and asked the couple if they knew which way vcu was. just our luck, we had been walking in the exact opposite direction of the campus. i think i let out a wail of despair, cause they felt really sorry for us.
the guy said he would give us a ride. RED FLAG. isnt it always preached to never talk to strangers, let alone never take a ride from one? YES. but that is exactly what keeumm and i did.
the guy introduced himself as william and his tmobile co-worker brittany. he was so crushing on her. and he was so weird. but a ride is a ride. i noted that keeumm had her hand on the door handle at all times no doubt ready to jump out if he tried anything fishy. how she planned to save me if that was to happen was unknown.
he turned out to be quite the gentleman, and dropped us off alive. i can now check hitchhiking off of my bucketlist.
jenny came and found us and steered us to the theatre. i got the quick rundown of what was gonna happen, and then we went out in an alley to practice. the script jenny and nicole wrote was hilarious, and i thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.
we were a hoot. the other performers at no shame, however, took a much more vulgar and risque route, especially this one stand up comedian who said literally the nastiest jokes i have ever heard in my entire life, just one after the other. about midway through i remembered that my mother was in the audience. needless to say i was mortified and she wasnt too happy herself.
luckily our stunning performance that closed the show and my responsibility of arranging for matt to drive us back to my car distracted her, and i she had cooled down. whew. dodged dat bullet.
if you will, go back in time to friday night with me. that is what i desire to blog about on this fine easter sunday.
roast time. i was beyond stoked to be back with the cast and make fun of the show that i devoted 9 weeks of my life to. some vengance was still inside of me. i had to release the little bit of angry joad still in my soul.
oh my GOSH its hot in here. ah. fan.
anyways. i was all dressed up in my oversized tyedye tshirt and leggings. like, i was set. ready to roast.
keeumm decided i was to drive. no big deal. i enjoy driving and generally am more chill about it when it comes to manuevering city streets.
it was established that i had forgotten to acquire an address for shafer street theatre were the festivities were to take place. oops. cut a girl some slack, i at least was lookin fly.
texted eric. he didnt have a clue either. figures.
called nicole. she gave me an address, but she was on speakerphone since veronica is a failure and the reception was bad. so the address nicole said and the address keeumm and my ears received were not the same.
we ended up WAY downtown. WAY. like by the trainstation. i was trying to follow gretchen's directions but that was tricky considering how she was confused as to where we were, so she would say something like 'turn right' and i'd look to the right and there was no possible way to do such an action. so i'd swerve. almost had an accident four times. not. too. shabby.
the decision was made that we would just park and go from there. not as easy as it sounds, folks, not as easy as it sounds. first attempt to parallel park should not be in downtown richmond at 10pm. i failed miserably, and the people trying to get by me were not friendly, to put it mildly. i believe i was flipped the bird. well SCREW YOU.
attempt number two. large open space. perfect. except once i'd squeezed in, we saw the fire hydrant. so THATS why nobody parked there. i knew it was too easy.
attempt number three. an abandoned private parking lot right off of a dark alley. PERFECT! i exclaim and pull in happily. keeumm was not so pleased, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
i turned off sheila franklin, and right as i did, she made an odd bell noise that i had never heard before. i didnt know what she could possibly be trying to tell me. the doors were shut, the radio was off, nothing seemed to be ajar.
checked the fuel tank. E for EMPTY. found it!
in case youre confused, let me reiterate my point. my mother and i are sitting in my car with no gas on a dark alley in downtown richmond at 10pm.
should prove to be a fun evening.
called nicole back, who told us we had gone WAY too far down franklin and needed to go back towards vcu. while we knew that was the case, that was going to be an issue since we were without a vehicle.
so of course we started to walk aimlessly down franklin, because that seemed like the right thing to do at the time. this causes me to come close to tears, for i was called for roast rehearsal nearly 23mins ago and we had not a clue where we were. and it was dark, all the clubbers were about. needless to say we didnt fit in very well, and i could tell that keeumm feared for our lives which didnt help very much at all.
spoiler alert. we didnt die.
here we are, walking without a clue as to where we were and i was near my breaking point. at this point i knew i wasnt ever going to make it to roast and probably wasnt going to make it out alive (refer back to spoiler alert if you are getting concerned) and so i am taking out all of my desperation on keeumm by screaming at her.
i made quite the fool out of myself. so much so that the two people walking in front of us turned around. thats when keeumm the hawk swooped in.
she ran up and asked the couple if they knew which way vcu was. just our luck, we had been walking in the exact opposite direction of the campus. i think i let out a wail of despair, cause they felt really sorry for us.
the guy said he would give us a ride. RED FLAG. isnt it always preached to never talk to strangers, let alone never take a ride from one? YES. but that is exactly what keeumm and i did.
the guy introduced himself as william and his tmobile co-worker brittany. he was so crushing on her. and he was so weird. but a ride is a ride. i noted that keeumm had her hand on the door handle at all times no doubt ready to jump out if he tried anything fishy. how she planned to save me if that was to happen was unknown.
he turned out to be quite the gentleman, and dropped us off alive. i can now check hitchhiking off of my bucketlist.
jenny came and found us and steered us to the theatre. i got the quick rundown of what was gonna happen, and then we went out in an alley to practice. the script jenny and nicole wrote was hilarious, and i thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.
we were a hoot. the other performers at no shame, however, took a much more vulgar and risque route, especially this one stand up comedian who said literally the nastiest jokes i have ever heard in my entire life, just one after the other. about midway through i remembered that my mother was in the audience. needless to say i was mortified and she wasnt too happy herself.
luckily our stunning performance that closed the show and my responsibility of arranging for matt to drive us back to my car distracted her, and i she had cooled down. whew. dodged dat bullet.
Thursday, April 1
zeppole.
foreign language week has a lot of downfalls including 57,587 projects due. luckily, there is one salvation to foreign language week. food day.
in case you were wondering, my italian doughnuts, zepPOLe, as the italians say it, turned out pretty fantastic. turns out nana had a deep fryer. shoulda known, nana has everything.
it took two and a half bottles of canola oil to fill the sucker. it got to bubbling and alls i had to do was drop a little dollop of dough in the boiling concoction and BAM. amazing. they just popped up and were perfect. i started thinking that it would be really great if one day in the distant future when i have children if they turned out the same way. just pop out and BAM. amazing.
my favorite part of this process was sprinkling the powdered sugar. it was a delicate procedure. and it also reminded me of cocaine.
my least favorite part was getting rid of the hot oil because it took like a squillion minutes to cool down. but it happened. and my project was finis. and it was fantastamazing (jallison gilison addition).
AND GUESS WHAT I ONLY BURNED MYSELF SEVEN TIMES.
i was all proud when i presented my zepPOLe to my teacher today. i think i may have alarmed her a little bit. because when i opened my box, i gasped in horror, for all of the powdered sugar was gone. just up and disappeared. i figure it probably got sucked up into the doughnuts because they were all hot and oily but still it was really disheartening to see little brown lumps without the magic that is powdered sugar sprinkled over them. i still got an A. which i cannot say about my pinata.
they still tasted like heaven in the form of a brown lump so that was good news. cant say the same about the other foods, especially spanish. they were the worst. french and german made a nice effort, but nothing can compare to the italian beauty of latin. in one spanish class, i think i ate a cookie that was made of flour and water and nothing else. or at least thats what it tasted like.
a fun game for us was to spot the people who cheated. the bread that was a little too perfectly sliced to be homemade, the noodles that had that special quality one can only link to ramen noodles, the pasta that was without a shadow of a doubt hamburger helper, the grapes. yeah. somebody just brought in grapes.
the worst of all was the mystery meat. i left the taste tasting to my fellow latin students. not sure if its because i am not brave or if it is because i dont enjoy food poisoning. regardless, i went vegetarian for the day.
emma was the best. she somehow managed to convince my teacher that cheesecake was from italy. god bless cheesecake.
in case you were wondering, my italian doughnuts, zepPOLe, as the italians say it, turned out pretty fantastic. turns out nana had a deep fryer. shoulda known, nana has everything.
it took two and a half bottles of canola oil to fill the sucker. it got to bubbling and alls i had to do was drop a little dollop of dough in the boiling concoction and BAM. amazing. they just popped up and were perfect. i started thinking that it would be really great if one day in the distant future when i have children if they turned out the same way. just pop out and BAM. amazing.
my favorite part of this process was sprinkling the powdered sugar. it was a delicate procedure. and it also reminded me of cocaine.
my least favorite part was getting rid of the hot oil because it took like a squillion minutes to cool down. but it happened. and my project was finis. and it was fantastamazing (jallison gilison addition).
AND GUESS WHAT I ONLY BURNED MYSELF SEVEN TIMES.
i was all proud when i presented my zepPOLe to my teacher today. i think i may have alarmed her a little bit. because when i opened my box, i gasped in horror, for all of the powdered sugar was gone. just up and disappeared. i figure it probably got sucked up into the doughnuts because they were all hot and oily but still it was really disheartening to see little brown lumps without the magic that is powdered sugar sprinkled over them. i still got an A. which i cannot say about my pinata.
they still tasted like heaven in the form of a brown lump so that was good news. cant say the same about the other foods, especially spanish. they were the worst. french and german made a nice effort, but nothing can compare to the italian beauty of latin. in one spanish class, i think i ate a cookie that was made of flour and water and nothing else. or at least thats what it tasted like.
a fun game for us was to spot the people who cheated. the bread that was a little too perfectly sliced to be homemade, the noodles that had that special quality one can only link to ramen noodles, the pasta that was without a shadow of a doubt hamburger helper, the grapes. yeah. somebody just brought in grapes.
the worst of all was the mystery meat. i left the taste tasting to my fellow latin students. not sure if its because i am not brave or if it is because i dont enjoy food poisoning. regardless, i went vegetarian for the day.
emma was the best. she somehow managed to convince my teacher that cheesecake was from italy. god bless cheesecake.
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