tmobile coworkers.

sorry for my hiatus. im back.

if you will, go back in time to friday night with me. that is what i desire to blog about on this fine easter sunday.

roast time. i was beyond stoked to be back with the cast and make fun of the show that i devoted 9 weeks of my life to. some vengance was still inside of me. i had to release the little bit of angry joad still in my soul.

oh my GOSH its hot in here. ah. fan.

anyways. i was all dressed up in my oversized tyedye tshirt and leggings. like, i was set. ready to roast.

keeumm decided i was to drive. no big deal. i enjoy driving and generally am more chill about it when it comes to manuevering city streets.

it was established that i had forgotten to acquire an address for shafer street theatre were the festivities were to take place. oops. cut a girl some slack, i at least was lookin fly.

texted eric. he didnt have a clue either. figures.

called nicole. she gave me an address, but she was on speakerphone since veronica is a failure and the reception was bad. so the address nicole said and the address keeumm and my ears received were not the same.

we ended up WAY downtown. WAY. like by the trainstation. i was trying to follow gretchen's directions but that was tricky considering how she was confused as to where we were, so she would say something like 'turn right' and i'd look to the right and there was no possible way to do such an action. so i'd swerve. almost had an accident four times. not. too. shabby.

the decision was made that we would just park and go from there. not as easy as it sounds, folks, not as easy as it sounds. first attempt to parallel park should not be in downtown richmond at 10pm. i failed miserably, and the people trying to get by me were not friendly, to put it mildly. i believe i was flipped the bird. well SCREW YOU.

attempt number two. large open space. perfect. except once i'd squeezed in, we saw the fire hydrant. so THATS why nobody parked there. i knew it was too easy.

attempt number three. an abandoned private parking lot right off of a dark alley. PERFECT! i exclaim and pull in happily. keeumm was not so pleased, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

i turned off sheila franklin, and right as i did, she made an odd bell noise that i had never heard before. i didnt know what she could possibly be trying to tell me. the doors were shut, the radio was off, nothing seemed to be ajar.

checked the fuel tank. E for EMPTY. found it!

in case youre confused, let me reiterate my point. my mother and i are sitting in my car with no gas on a dark alley in downtown richmond at 10pm.

should prove to be a fun evening.

called nicole back, who told us we had gone WAY too far down franklin and needed to go back towards vcu. while we knew that was the case, that was going to be an issue since we were without a vehicle.

so of course we started to walk aimlessly down franklin, because that seemed like the right thing to do at the time. this causes me to come close to tears, for i was called for roast rehearsal nearly 23mins ago and we had not a clue where we were. and it was dark, all the clubbers were about. needless to say we didnt fit in very well, and i could tell that keeumm feared for our lives which didnt help very much at all.

spoiler alert. we didnt die.

here we are, walking without a clue as to where we were and i was near my breaking point. at this point i knew i wasnt ever going to make it to roast and probably wasnt going to make it out alive (refer back to spoiler alert if you are getting concerned) and so i am taking out all of my desperation on keeumm by screaming at her.

i made quite the fool out of myself. so much so that the two people walking in front of us turned around. thats when keeumm the hawk swooped in.

she ran up and asked the couple if they knew which way vcu was. just our luck, we had been walking in the exact opposite direction of the campus. i think i let out a wail of despair, cause they felt really sorry for us.

the guy said he would give us a ride. RED FLAG. isnt it always preached to never talk to strangers, let alone never take a ride from one? YES. but that is exactly what keeumm and i did.

the guy introduced himself as william and his tmobile co-worker brittany. he was so crushing on her. and he was so weird. but a ride is a ride. i noted that keeumm had her hand on the door handle at all times no doubt ready to jump out if he tried anything fishy. how she planned to save me if that was to happen was unknown.

he turned out to be quite the gentleman, and dropped us off alive. i can now check hitchhiking off of my bucketlist.

jenny came and found us and steered us to the theatre. i got the quick rundown of what was gonna happen, and then we went out in an alley to practice. the script jenny and nicole wrote was hilarious, and i thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.

we were a hoot. the other performers at no shame, however, took a much more vulgar and risque route, especially this one stand up comedian who said literally the nastiest jokes i have ever heard in my entire life, just one after the other. about midway through i remembered that my mother was in the audience. needless to say i was mortified and she wasnt too happy herself.

luckily our stunning performance that closed the show and my responsibility of arranging for matt to drive us back to my car distracted her, and i she had cooled down. whew. dodged dat bullet.